We had so many reactions to the original article Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) (PSY-004) that we had to close the comments section on our website. The reason was twofold – almost all of them were knee-jerk reactions and not reasoned responses, and, the emails were getting very repetitive, adding nothing of value to the issue. Even so, we continue to receive emails commenting on it. In particular, readers did not understand my use of words such as ‘enjoy sin’, etc. They assumed I thought they were enjoying it in much the same way as they might enjoy an ice-cream! Not so. They also came to the utterly absurd conclusion that I ‘must’ be hateful to say such things, even though nothing in the article showed hatred! And why should it? I was merely commenting on a bad piece of psychiatric theory.
In this short article I will look at the last published comment (on BPD) on our website, and use it to further explain my view. Because no BPD ‘sufferer’ is willing to contemplate reasoned discussion (because, in reality, BPD is just a ‘messy’ form of neurosis, and all neurotics are self-centred), I have to reply as I see fit; if there are wrong assumptions concerning the views of the email writer, then that is a result of her unwillingness to read what I wrote in a proper manner. The writer’s name is not given (because her reactions are typical of many others, who show the same dislike for truth) and my own responses are clearly shown.
No doubt I could carry on this article for a great deal longer, but to what purpose? The major points have been covered, and are based on over 40 years’ experience in the field (psychiatric nursing, psychology and counselling). This includes experience in dealing with all kinds of personality disorder. Without a shadow of a doubt, ALL personality disorders are the result of sin, and their ‘sufferers’ are very self-orientated. Mostly, they are unaware they are selfish, but that is what they are, judging by their behaviour and words. How these people get to the point of a ‘disorder’ is another matter, and a few of these deserve sympathy. But, whatever the initial prompting cause, the remedy is still the same. To put it bluntly, God is not concerned with how we got to our sin – He simply tells us to get rid of it, immediately.
The writer of the comments complains that I have not experienced BPD. She should not be surprised by that, because BPD did not exist when I was a young man! But, its elements were evidenced as a lead-up to, and a part of, the full-blown disorder called ‘Psychopathy/Sociopathy’. Psychiatry loves to sub-divide so-called ‘mental’ categories of disorder; then they expand upon the sub-divisions, thereby creating yet another ‘mental illness’. It is easy to do, a consistent feature of psychiatry; and virtually none of it is rooted in verifiable science or medicine. Many ‘mental’ categories are based on the philosophical hypothesis that sin does not exist. Therefore, if it does not exist, it must be a maladaption to life, something to be treated by ‘professionals’ along socialist lines. But, ‘sufferers’ know nothing of this background.
Remember that I am ‘anti-psychiatry’, but not in the clinical sense of the word (those untrained in the field will not understand what I mean). Rather, I am against psychiatry itself. For me there is only one type of psychiatry that has relevance and a genuine reason to exist – the branch that deals with brain trauma and imbalances caused by a variety of actual, discernible, physical disorders, such as dementia, head accidents, and so on. The other types are based on philosophy, myth, eastern occultism, and other ungodly sources.
For my Master’s degree in psychology I analysed and compared mainline NHS diagnoses and treatments, and supposed ‘Christian’ counselling techniques. The conclusions are stark: psychiatry’s failure is in the way it misinterprets the data. Even Christian psychiatrists can be caught in this web of lies, because they assume (wrongly) that psychiatry is founded on medicine and truth. It is not based on either (apart from the ‘physical’ aspects just mentioned). As for Christian counselling – I advise you to avoid it, because it is no better than its secular counterparts. The only answer is to allow the Holy Spirit to deal with the problem – sin.
BPD is a very recent invention that is based on the wrong assumption that bad behaviour ‘must be’ caused by a mental problem. This contradicts biblical teaching, for bad behaviour is caused by sin and cannot be allowed freedom to act without prompt rebuke! (It is this rebuke aspect that ‘sufferers’ hate). By not tackling this basic cause, there will invariably be wrong diagnoses and wrong treatments. Sadly, many who wrote to us about this article assume I must be ‘harsh’ and ‘unloving’, because of what I said. This cannot be farther from the truth! The reader should be aware that an article on a subject is nothing like a personal encounter with the writer.
In my life I have dealt with sufferers of all kinds. But, the sufferers of so-called ‘mental’ conditions need a definite ‘reality check’ (if not a ‘short, sharp, shock’). They cling doggedly to psychiatric evaluations (which naturally support them in their ‘condition’) and reject anything that is tough-talking but true. Tough-talking is NOT hatred or insensitivity! I defy anyone who thinks it is, to read scripture, for the Lord is far tougher than I am!
When faced with sin we must identify it as sin, and then eradicate it. There is nothing in scripture to support the idea of self-help groups consisting of people who ‘suffer’ the effects of their sin, and help each other to cope with it! Their suffering is deserved (that is, by God’s standards) and unrelenting. It offers no respite or cure. And God NEVER says we may live with a sinful condition, or that He ‘accepts us as we are’, when what we are is sinful. Those who offer sympathy for sin are not your friends, but enemies of you and God. Tough talk is needed if a ‘condition’ has reached the point of psychiatric treatment, because it shows the person is already hardened to their sin. I can assure you of that.
We will now look at the email. My own responses are shown separately. Please understand that I have no preconceived grievance against this lady; I know her views are the product of misinformation and propaganda by atheistic groups and psychiatry.
Also, I do NOT believe this young woman suffered BPD. It has all the hallmarks of extended grief and depression, which is a neurosis, and this kind of reaction to life is itself sin. Grief and misery are facts of life, but when they are extended they are proof of a refusal to come to terms with life itself, and a rejection of one’s proper responsibilities. This is not judgmental, but a simple fact. I have personally been struck by depression and grief, so I know what I am talking about! To call it something else is irresponsible. My responses to this long email are to what has been provided by the writer, so any misconceptions I might have are not due to lack of diligence.
“I am a 37 year old mother of 4 boys married to a compassionate and supportive husband. I am recovering from BPD and I hope my comment will do something to counter the damage an article like this is capable of.
Comment: She is not ‘recovering from BPD’. Rather, she is finally leaving behind a sinful reaction to grief.... though, to my mind, she is taking too long to do so. The only ‘damage’ my article has done is to the lies told by proponents of BPD. I remember one time, when I was in charge of an outpatient’s clinic, having a woman sit before me and declare she would commit suicide. She said it calmly, without emotion. I told her “Well. That’s up to you. Go ahead.” (I had heard similar ‘threats’ many times before).
No, this was not lack of compassion – it was realistic. She had ‘played the system’ for so many years, and expected everyone to jump to her side every time she threatened this or that. Her poor family were at their wit’s end. Realistically, if a person wants to kill themselves they will do it regardless of pleading, etc. I decided not to be drawn in to her fantasy world of demands. Did I do damage? No. She just said I should not be working in psychiatry! In other words, I did not toe her preferred line of fakery, and did not teach or act out mainstream psychiatric nonsense. Did she kill herself? Of course not! Such threats are given so that everyone jumps to attention.
We (my family and I because it has been THEIR pain as well as mine) have struggled for the last four years with my depression and anxiety. I continued to spiral and battle with what I knew (and still know) to be true as a Christian, but there were so many factors that began to come to the surface on the heels of my father's death two years ago that I literally became overwhelmed, exhausted, and at the end of my rope. I was desperate for answers to why I couldn't shake the panic and hopelessness. I couldn't function. I got worse and worse. I raged at my husband only to apologize frantically in fear that he would leave me. I withdrew completely, disengaging from my children, letting my sweet husband carry the lion's share of household responsibility. He didn't know it at the time, but he was enabling the dead weight I had become, because he thought if we just kept it to ourselves, we could resolve it in our own power. Christians don't HAVE mental illnesses, right? So what was the use in reaching out? He was making it worse because he refused to acknowledge that he didn't have the power to 'FIX' me. (He's since given his pride to God). I was DEAD SET against reaching out because I was convinced I would be told the exact same garbage contained in this article. But I never stopped believing in God. I just despaired that I would ever be able to reach him.
Comment: Firstly, there is no such thing as ‘mental illness’... at least nothing that has credible scientific research behind it. Mental instability is due to personal sin. Unfortunately, by saying she is ‘mentally ill’ this lady is unwittingly adopting the worldview of evolution and communistic teaching. Almost all ‘mental’ disturbances are due to sin, not to illness. What this lady describes is not ‘mental illness’ but unchecked selfishness, neurosis. It began as grief but the evidence she gives is that of a hatred for her father’s spiritual end, because she had a rougher time of dealing with God!
Those who enter into extended grief (just look at Queen Victoria) act badly. Their worldview becomes very distorted. And, as this lady admits, her family suffered because of it, though throughout, she only shows real concern or herself... selfishness. She also admits that her husband actually promoted her condition (because he was ignorant of what to do), but so did she.
“Christians don’t have mental illnesses”? I had to deal with a steady stream of Christians in psychiatry and outside of it. When a Christian enters psychiatric treatments they dishonour the Lord, and are actually saying “I believe in God – but only in my head! He can’t heal me, but worldly ways can!” Yes, they enter the web of psychiatry! In each and every case it was because of sin. No, I do not necessarily mean they were wicked (though some are). Just that they were fooled by psychiatric nonsense and its worldly teaching on the woes of mankind. Christians can sin as well as the unsaved man! Indeed, some are worse, because they fight their own salvation and KNOW what they say and do is sin. Therefore, they act very badly, as if to ‘prove’ they are ‘ill’. I have seen it all before.
The more we sin the more we think we are moving away from God – as this lady herself admits. That is because it is what she WAS doing! But to say that what I have written is ‘garbage’ is, well, childish. She needs to tell me precisely why she thinks it is ‘garbage’, so I can show her it is not (though she would not agree anyway, because her delusion is firm-set)! Her kind of anger against reality and biblical truth is typical of believers who know God but have been tainted by psychiatric propaganda. What I am saying is what every called man (pastor, teacher, etc) of God should do – tell the truth, regardless of feelings or emotional outbursts (like this lady’s). I do not think less of the lady for her sin, nor does it affect the way I speak. This is because I care, though she thinks otherwise. My words are removed from emotion, because emotion is labile.
I was so angry, at my father for dying, at my father for so EFFORTLESSLY becoming a Christian at the end of his life and having so MUCH PEACE when he'd basically ignored me my entire life. I was mad at God for giving my DAD such peace when I was denied, I could not put a name on my rage, but I called out to God for YEARS...YEARS...and still felt abandoned by him. My mind became my prison. I could not hold on to one thought for more than a moment. I still cried out to God...still no answer. I felt out of control, and constantly guilty for isolating myself. But I didn't want to hurt anyone! I hated this! It was a nightmare that I would have done anything to escape!
Comment: The lady here describes her process of sin and severe loathing. In which way can she claim it to be ‘not sin’? Every part of the description of her condition screams ‘sin’! With such rage, she could not expect God to stay at her side. Indeed, when we deliberately sin, God will pull back, and may even leave us to our own devices for the rest of our lives, if we do not repent. Remember, we are talking here about an ordinary woman, not someone who has murdered anyone! She is no different from myself, in the sense that we can all commit sin, sometimes horrendously.
Note that she isolated herself so as ‘not to hurt’ others. What did she think she was doing all those years, but hurt people, especially family? Was she really that insensitive to them? I think she was, because I have witnessed it in several thousand people. They only think of their own emotions and feelings. She says she wanted to escape... how many times have I heard this kind of delusion coming from the lips of inpatients in hospital? Neurotics (and this lady is still one) claim not to hurt others, but they know they do every day! This is because their actions do not match their desires.
No doubt this lady desires to not hurt others... but it is painfully obvious that she does, because she refuses to stop her behaviour: (she will now hate ME for saying it) her behaviour IS her form of control; it is her way of hitting-out, or avoiding responsibility; her supposed ‘mental illness’ is her cover-story!
I am so glad I NEVER stumbled upon this article in my darkest times. Who knows what I would have done.
Comment: This lady does it throughout her email - she hints always at how fault lies with others and not herself. She could just as easily accuse God of causing her to harm herself, because He tells us we are sinners! If she did do something to herself it would be entirely her responsibility... read scripture’s answer to the godless crime of suicide. Her statement, then, is unworthy.
I felt abandoned by my family and husband's family. I projected my own disgust with myself upon them, assuming they wanted nothing to do with me...after all, a TRUE Christian woman would NEVER behave this way. So it became common practice for my husband and children to leave me at home alone while they went to family gatherings. I was always invited, but I was terrified I would embarrass him because I could NEVER hold in my tears for any length of time. I learned much later that they all prayed for me ceaselessly but had no idea how to help me. It turns out that their keeping their distance was good, even though I hated them for it at the time.”
Comment; She is very open at times, but also self-deluded. She just cannot see how what she is doing is sin, based on her selfishness, even though she says she is sinning! Note how she is aware of the fact that her anger against them is really anger against herself. This is a good sign! But, her comment that a true Christian does not act that way is, well, unrealistic. We have all done things that are ‘not Christian’. That is when we (should) determine not to act the same way again and seek forgiveness.
She had a delusion about the family... and I suggest the same delusion is now foisted upon myself as the writer of information she cannot accept. The family did not know what to do for her. I understand that completely. She was putting herself into a corner and was/is manipulating others to get her own way! But, if we take a step back and just observe, we will see that what she was doing was acting sinfully.
The biggest problem was not facing it and confronting her with it. This can be done very gently, but must never be allowed to continue without expectation of repentance and real change. If the behaviour continues, then we must ‘get tough’. All of this is scriptural. And if such repentance and change is not forthcoming, we must step aside and, if necessary, cut ourselves off until she repents and changes. The alternative is to endure useless years of petty ‘help’ and allowing the ‘sufferer’ to pull us this way and that, to suit her own will.
“When I read about Borderline Personality Disorder, I felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. FINALLY there was a NAME for what I was experiencing. FINALLY I began to feel HOPE that it would not always be this way. Slowly I began to see that there were things I and my husband could do to diffuse bad situations before they arose. I was glad of this but at the same time, there was still something missing. We fell into a destructive pattern of verbal abuse and my husband would in self-defence emotionally shut down. That only terrified me and sent me into hysteria, fearful that he was finally leaving me.
Response: There are a number of unanswered questions here. For example: Did the BPD start before or after salvation? Did the husband agree that her problem was a psychiatric condition? Is he being ‘walked over’? Why is she ‘sharing out’ the responsibility for her ‘condition’ with her husband? Many young couples tend to loathe their new status as a couple, because they still want to be single... is this happening, causing a rift?
Why does she have a weight taken from her shoulders, by having a secular and psychiatric label for her symptoms? Why does she reject the biblical answers? If I had an illness, say, a heart condition, and it was ‘diagnosed’ as kidney disease... will that help or hinder my condition? So, why does she accept the secular label but not the biblical reality – that her behaviour is sin?
Why does she have hope in a worldly psychiatric label but not in the clear biblical answers, when the secular explanation has NO HOPE, but the biblical answer does? (It strongly suggests that though she says she wants to be cured she really wants to hang-on to her symptoms. This double-hope is found throughout all ‘mental’ conditions, because keeping the symptoms is a ‘let out clause’ at difficult times, so that any failure is blamed on the ‘condition’ and not on the person).
The writer must forgive my assumptions here, for she does not give many details: I refer to guesswork based on observing marital problems... she speaks of both her and her husband trying to forestall problems arising: “Slowly I began to see that there were things I and my husband could do to diffuse bad situations before they arose.” She correctly says something was missing from this. Firstly, they anticipate ‘bad situations’ in their relationship; secondly, she again ‘shares’ her sin with her husband (typical of many who sin: ‘it’s not my fault’, etc). It is all very well anticipating bad situations, but this can be sinful and destructive. God does not want us just to recognise a coming sin – He tells us to get out of its path AND to get rid of it permanently.
Note how the writer again puts blame on her husband indirectly, because he ‘shut down’ when her behaviour was bad. It is inadequate, but the only defence some folks can come up with when they do not understand what is happening. This is because BPD is a form of abuse against husbands, wives, parents, children, friends, etc., and those affected cannot get away from it.
Note, too, that she became ‘hysterical’ when he withdrew from the emotional turmoil. Sadly, he could only think of issuing verbal abuse... but I have no doubt this was only after receiving it himself from an unrelenting tirade of bad behaviour. It is not a good way to deal with it, but those who present with constant high-pitched stress tear through the brains of onlookers like a chain-saw! Frankly, I am very surprised that he stayed; she says she was terrified he might leave, and I can understand if that happened. But, it was her bad behaviour that caused his verbal reactions and her ensuing fears.
What we were doing was sin. We refused to let go of our pride and rely on God to heal our hurts. We tried to 'fix' my BPD on our own but it never worked. Finally, after a really REALLY awful blow up, I was in the bathroom, tears dried up, and for some reason that I will never know, knew what I had been doing wrong MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Comment: We see this sharing yet again – she speaks of their combined pride, when the basic cause of it appears to be her bad behaviour. This finally had a bad effect on her husband, who ‘hit back’ in the only way he knew how (not with violence, I am glad to say). Yes, after trying to cope with her behaviour, the husband exploded with verbal reactions. Yes, it was sin in itself... but the wife must carry the blame for initiating this reaction. In normal circumstances this is sin. But, the real cause was her behaviour.
She says both of them were trying to ‘fix’ the BPD on their own, and this failed (when only she is responsible). I am not surprised. The only cure for sin is repentance and a cessation of the sin! She says she eventually discovered that she had been wrong for her “entire life”. This shows that she (temporarily) stopped blaming her husband for what she had caused. Sadly, though, this realisation was not allowed to carry on with healing of her mind and heart. There is another query here – what was she doing that was sinful all her life? (I ask because sins do not usually occur in a vacuum, and a predisposition to bad behaviour will aggravate and promote BPD).
I always begged for God to use me and give me peace...but only if I could 'this' or 'that'. In that moment I remembered my dad weeks before he died of cancer respond to my despair in his declining health: "It is what it is, girl. He's still God. That's all I care about."
Comment: The begging with God was superficial and sinful, but how much of it was due to bad teaching by her peers and pastors etc.? Rather than being deliberately sinful it might just have been misguided initially. We cannot get peace from God if we are sinning. All it does is to set up a continuous stress and conflict between what we want (purity) and our sins. Unfortunately, this lady compares her situation with her father’s cancer, when there is no comparison. Cancer is an uninvited physical malady (assuming it was not caused by something like smoking, etc), whereas BPD is a self-imposed condition of the emotions and mind set up by continuous sin. In other words, the father may not have prevented his physical disease, but his daughter could have prevented her bad behaviour 100% at any time.
I told God recently that no matter what others do, no matter what my husband does, no matter how other Christians treat me, no matter how many times I fall, no matter what is going on AROUND me....I wanted to do His will, serve others, and OBEY. The peace that passes all understanding has not left since then. He has not abandoned me. I'm going to mess up. I'm going to fall into old habits and likely sin. I'm going to hurt someone's feelings with thoughtless words. I'm going to try my hardest NOT to, but it will probably happen. I won't fall under the trap of condemnation. God's Word is eternal, does not change, and is the foundation upon which we model our lives.
Comment: Despite a brief courtship with reality, this lady now again indirectly blames everyone else for her woes. Her husband, from what she says, merely reacted to her high-octane behaviour with verbal abuse. And she is openly defying genuine rebuke from Christians. On the other hand she says she will obey God! In this she is very confused about the nature of sin and the presence of it in her own life. She wants to do God’s will and yet refuses His word, whether through scripture or by serious articles such as the original one she rejects. She says she has peace that passes all understanding... I want to know how this is possible, given her refusal to genuinely obey.
It is true that God will not abandon the believer fully. But, be warned – He can and does take a step backwards, leaving a sinning Christian to his or her own devices, if they will not obey. Thus, I believe her ‘peace’ is self-delusion, necessary to maintain as an excuse, so that she can still operate under the BPD label. I have heard it all before, too many times! People who cry out in pain and suffering, caused by their own sin, and yet who also claim to want to obey God. There is a huge difference between a maintained, regular sin, and sins we commit almost unwillingly or occasionally. God does not allow the first as an excuse, but only forgives people who truly repent. The continued action of a regular sin proves not obedience but a refusal to get rid of it, making a mockery of repentance. God knows the difference!
So, yes, we all sin and all mess-up. That is not the point. The lady makes some astute observations about the way God looks upon His children... but her observation that she ‘will’ fail is troubling as a basis for living. God will indeed forgive when we repent, but do not assume He will not punish us if we continue to act-out deliberate sin on a regular basis. He MUST act against us in such circumstances, because ALL sin is condemned by Him! We cannot be condemned to hell, but He will make sure we know our sins are catching us out. He WILL cause us to repent, and if we do not, we will receive His anger.
Of course, Satan loves to ruin our lives, so he can make us think we are eternally condemned. This is to be resisted, but it is different from condemnation by God for actual sin. Thus, the lady knows how to live in God’s sight, but by repeating her BPD she is, at the same time, ignoring the revelation of God in her life. Again, this is typical of Christians who act badly.
With all of this being said, if anyone made it this far, know this as well: Christians should always turn to God for answers first and foremost. But it is also the calling of Christians to speak the truth in LOVE to brothers and sisters who are in agony because of a mental illness. Christians should offer a listening ear and empathy to someone who suffers from a personality disorder...ESPECIALLY if that PD is doing EVERYTHING they can to recover. This article was very biased and very hurtful to me. I am blessed that I am now secure in the fact that God loves me just as I am. There are many others that will come across this searching for Christian support for their illness. Maybe they have NO ONE who will talk to them. Maybe they feel TOTALLY alone. The writer of this article has no understanding of the agony and pain BPD sufferers endure and to suggest that BPDs enjoy their sin or have control over ALL OF IT is ABSOLUTE GARBAGE. To suggest that we do not care to change or are selfish is so wrong. You are HURTING people with this misinformation.
Comment: Her first statement is absolutely spot-on. But, her second statement proves that she relies on worldly diagnoses to ‘cover’ her sin with an ‘official’ excuse. Those who come to me for counsel can testify to the fact that I am gentle and encouraging. But, if I note sin as the foundation for their woes, I will not allow it to continue that way. The ‘agony’ of so-called ‘mental illness’ is not real! It is a satanic ploy used to deceive and mislead Christians. The agony comes from living a lie and acting in sin. It results from tension between our spiritual needs and our sinful desires.
Mental illness does not exist. It is a delusion created by Freud and carried on by countless deluded people. The lady, is in agony NOT because of a fake ‘mental illness’, but because her heart is tearing itself apart by ignoring the basis of her woes – sin. Her wish to be pure and holy is offset by her continued sin and reliance on worldly people for counsel.
I offer empathy and a listening ear ONLY if I know the ‘sufferer’ has listened to biblical counsel. You see, biblical counsel is very specific and has only one aim: the person must face sin, denounce it, and repent to God. Then, they must stop their bad behaviour instantly. Many plead this is not possible – but they should try telling that to the Apostle, Paul! He changed instantly when he met with Christ! The lady’s words, that she is doing everything she can to recover, are flawed, totally wrong and delusionary. God does not identify our sins only for us to take our time to ‘recover’! He expects and commands us to stop sinning immediately, not ‘eventually’, at some time in the future. Vast numbers of Christians misunderstand this fact, so I am not surprised by the lady’s flawed reaction.
She makes another assumption that is badly wrong: that God accepts us just as we are. God does NOT accept us as we are when we are sinning constantly and refuse to repent of it. And, He knows when we claim to want forgiveness and yet secretly cling to our sins! Nothing can take us away from Heaven or His love... but, He will not tolerate our continuous deliberate sins on this earth... and BPD is deliberate (because every part of it can be stopped).
Once again the lady refers to her ‘condition’ as ‘illness’. And this is precisely why she can only speak of ‘recovering’ and not of Holy Spirit healing of her mind. This shows an inner enjoyment of sin, rather than a superficial claim to holiness and a desire to be free of the sin. (There are many earthly benefits to indulging in sin and calling it ‘illness’... such as sympathy, empathy, official acceptance, even state benefits, and so on). There is no ‘recovering’ from sin, only an instant cessation of it.
As for the feeling of being totally alone, this is usually to be expected of someone who pushes people away in the first place by their foul behaviour. What do they expect if they hurt so many people?
“The writer of this article has no understanding of the agony and pain BPD sufferers endure and to suggest that BPDs enjoy their sin or have control over ALL OF IT is ABSOLUTE GARBAGE. To suggest that we do not care to change or are selfish is so wrong. You are HURTING people with this misinformation.” Oh dear! Yes, I understand only too well what goes through the BPD mind! That is why I write bluntly, to overcome the terrible worldly advice they so obviously thrive on.
The BPD person suffers because of their own fault and sin. They need to learn the truth, even if this takes a short while to come about. But, when something is pointed out as sin, they must stop it immediately and repent. If they do not, it strongly suggests an element of enjoyment of the sin. They ARE controlling their mind enough to reject the counsel. If they cannot control their mind, then they are clinically insane. Is the lady saying she is insane?
And yes, continually sinning like this is selfish indulgence. Take away the fake secular image and diagnosis and you are only left with one thing – sin. She is, then, hurt by her own refusal to repent, not by what I say. And if she really was so full of God’s love and so very sure she was right, she would not have written in the first place, in this manner. If she is hurt, it is because God is prompting her conscience.
Misinformation? No, just a very different argument to the one she is used to. If she listens and truly repents, she will be healed in an instant. The alternative is to carry on as she is, always ‘recovering’ but never healed. It is the same claim made by alcoholics. The majority of them have no intention of being cured and treating them in hospital and clinics is a complete waste of time. Same goes for smokers and drug addicts. Without the will to do it they can do nothing, and everything they do is superficial.
But, for the Christian there is the gem that remains hidden – God’s love. The lady thinks she knows what it is, but by her words she denies such knowledge. As Jesus said, if you love Me you will do what I say! She is obviously not doing that because she says she is still in the grip of BPD! God promises us that if we repent truly, we will be forgiven and healed.
The Christian community needs to wake up and acknowledge that this is REAL and to give it the attention it deserves. To whoever wrote this horrible article: You have inspired me to fight your ignorance with everything I have in me. People's lives are on the line because they have lost all hope and think no one will believe them. They feel that even though they are Christians, they will be made to feel like a monster if they ask for help.
Comment: Yes, BPD is indeed real. But, not as a mental illness or a genuine condition. The only thing real about it is its sinful source. Only by acknowledging its sin can any Christian community deal with it. It does not deserve ‘attention’ only a very stern rebuke.
BPD is when a person makes a complete mess of their lives by sinning. As such, and like anyone who claims Christ, we must offer help, but in a biblical way. That is, recognise sin and rebuke it. When I see someone responding properly, I will help all I can. But, if they do not, and continue sinning regardless of harm, I stop my help. This is because (like the woman’s husband does) those affected by a BPD are drawn into a web of bad behaviour that only gets worse, ruining their lives as well. Jesus ordered His disciples to shake the dust off their feet if a village did not listen to them, and never to return. Likewise, I will not waste my time repeatedly trying to convince someone that they need to repent.
Well, the young lady now knows I am the one who wrote this “horrible article”. I am far from ignorant, and well-qualified to speak as I do. But, she is stuck in her own dark world, like a fly caught in a trap, ready to be devoured by a spider. She can fight me as much as she likes, but she is sinning and ignoring the word of God. She should not fight my supposed ‘ignorance’ (note: BPDs like to blame everyone else, so now it is my fault!) – but should take flight and soar to the sun, leaving her shackles behind! She has already lost hope, by sticking to her belief in a manufactured diagnosis. She can regain hope only by listening to God.
I certainly believe she has symptoms. My conclusion is simply that they are caused by sin and it is this fact she is trying to avoid. She can believe Satan if she wishes, but the answers are there for her to see. If she asks for genuine help, she will get it. I do not think she is a monster, even though at times she might act like one... perhaps only her husband can testify to just how awful the behaviour really is.
God's love and forgiveness can cover all things. But Borderline Personality Disorder is REAL. Denying it even exists is unconscionable.
This is WRONG.”
Finally, we come to a delusion – that God’s love and forgiveness can cover all things. God’s love is for those who are His. Those who are His comply with His demands. If they continue in sin even when it is identified as sin, they spit in God’s face. He can only forgive those who truly repent... and this lady evidently does not. BPD is indeed real in terms of an awful waste of a person’s life, and the terrible toll it takes on all who know them. But, it is NOT a mental illness and does not exist as one. It is sin, plain and simple.
And it is this lone fact that should give hope. Not psychiatry, or self-help groups, or any other worldly device. If the lady learns this, she will begin to find her way out of her self-imposed maze of trouble. She must give up herself and live life properly. If nothing else, she must stop hurting her husband and treat him with the love and respect he should be given. Then, his poor reactions will stop, too.
Remember, BPD is fake as an ‘illness’. It is just years of bad behaviour built up in layers of unresolved sin, never properly dealt with. Very often onlookers (usually family) have allowed the behaviour to arise in the first place, and if it starts at a young age, the youngster is unable to process what is really happening, and so is conditioned to act as he or she wishes, usually sinfully, manipulating family and friends so as to get their own way. It is hard for someone with this background to realise that the source of the problem is in their own hearts and minds. And if they are unsaved, this is a problem that may never go away.
But, a Christian has every hope! The friend is not the one who allows you to continue your behaviour without rebuke, but the one who openly and lovingly rebukes. I rebuke this lady, not because I hate her or despise what she does, but because I care. She can take that as she wishes, but it is true. And she MUST stop blaming everyone else.
Second Email from Same Person
A technical fluke meant that I contacted the lady with a quick response to her original email, which she wrote over a year ago. Obviously, I had forgotten about her email (I receive many hundreds a day). But, her reaction was no different from a year ago, which shows that her thinking is just as bad as it was then, and still as poorly conceived. This paper is not a personal attack, but straightforward argumentation.
The lady’s comments are given first, and they show a consistently unbelieving attitude and a deep anger against anyone who is critical of her supposed condition and its treatment. My comments are in bold type. You will no doubt notice her false ‘benediction’ at the end!
“Your email response to a comment I made almost a YEAR ago blows me away. I would be even more upset with the misinformation you spread if not for the ridiculousness of your email response to me. I am truly baffled. I can only hope that any desperate person seeking help for their issues and illness would have the discernment and good sense to know that anything you write on the subject of BPD is totally incorrect and they should blow it off as a RANT and look elsewhere for much needed help.”
Comment: Oh dear! The lady does not explain why my email was ‘ridiculous’, or why she thinks it contained ‘misinformation’. In truth, what she means is that I have contradicted her notion of BPD and how it must be dealt with. So, she reacts with anger. I cannot do anything about that. It always amazes me that this kind of reaction always presupposes that I am being nasty, or stupid, or judgmental, or simply misinformed. In reality, all I have done is to provide an alternative to what she has been taught (or, what she prefers to believe, because it is more convenient to believe a lie). To say this is misinformation is, well, rather dismissive.
You will note that she insists on BPD being called an ‘illness’! Look at what the ‘symptoms’ are and you will agree they are nothing less than sin. She is, then, calling sin an ‘illness’. This is in line with all neurotic complaints. Yet, as an ex-professional and as a long-time counselling person, it is I who ‘must’ be wrong... and she, as a neurotic, ‘must’ be right, even though her mind is, by her own admission, messed up. Oh well, that put me in my place! What I say is “totally incorrect” and is only a “rant”. Hm.
“BPD is misunderstood enough without unqualified people who lack objectivity muddying the waters with their personal bias. If people have misread your words or as you say 'ignored' the intent of your article, maybe it's because you claim to know the motivations of anyone who has ever suffered from mental illness. If you are the professional you claim to be, you would be able to spot the way you project CONSTANTLY onto ALL BPDs throughout the body of your article. This is so dangerous.”
Comment: Why does she say BPD is ‘misunderstood’? Is it because she will not accept a biblical answer? She is more than willing to accept the psychiatric answer even though psychiatry is worldly and godless! To offset my detailed data, she feels compelled to just hit out, saying that whatever I write ‘lacks objectivity’ and is ‘muddying the waters’. But, of course, she does not identify things I have said that fit these emotive terms. She just says I have only written my ‘personal bias’. How does she know this? I wrote the truth, based on observation and work in the field! On the other hand, her views are taken from her own confusion and ‘diagnosis’ of unbelievers. Like so many who prefer sin to truth, she thinks I have a personal axe to grind... not so! I am just observing the facts and commenting on them. It is just argumentation.
She is offended that I claim to know the motives of those with supposed ‘mental illness’. ALL professionals work according to assumptions of motives! It is part of diagnosis. These assumptions are rooted not in my own ideas, but on what patients of all kinds have admitted-to over many years. And bear in mind that I do not accept the existence of ‘mental’ illnesses. These so-called illnesses are just malfunctions of emotions and thinking. That is, sin.
The lady does not tell me what she means... WHAT do I project onto all BPDs? Does she mean I put them all into the same basket? This is reasonable, because they all show the same symptoms! What, then, is her point? That she is very special in her sin, and so must be treated differently?
“You are not God, Doctor...”
Comment: Well spotted. I agree.
“Your article is presumptuous and damaging because you are passing judgment on highly fragile and hurting people... judgment that only GOD HIMSELF is qualified to pass. If you MUST discuss BPD, you should be trying to HELP people find healing, HELP them find answers. It is a SPIRITUAL battle for the mind... and people in this situation desperately need to be validated as they are helped to pinpoint the ROOT CAUSE of their illness.”
Comment: I do not know if you can see the futility of this statement, which is completely mixed up? My article is presumptuous and damaging. In which way? By telling the truth? I believe I must have pressed the right button, because of this lady’s anger and hostility (which she does not recognise to be anger and hostility). She accuses me of ‘passing judgment’, but I tend to think she really means I am being judgmental. This is just not true. I am observing a pattern of behaviour, seeing sin as the cause, and saying so. This is proper judgment, not judgmentalism. The lady should search scripture, which tells us to judge our fellows before the world does. What she is REALLY saying is “Go away and don’t be critical!” God commands us to judge others.
And, why are BPDs “highly fragile” and “hurting”? The answer is stark – they have been allowed to get away with their tantrums and antics for too long, by those who love them, and by others. Because of this inability by others to ‘tell it as it is’, BPDs develop their own take on the world and come to believe they have an illness. They ignore the fact that what they say or do is sin, and cling to worldly ideas that counter scripture. They ‘hurt’ by their own words and actions, because they ignore God and prefer hurting. (I proved this in my 1980 manuscript on mental illness, based on countless therapy observations).
The lady says I must help by leading to healing... that is exactly what I have done – but she rejects it. What I give is God’s answer, not the deceptions of the world. To face one’s own sin is traumatic but necessary. The answer is in full repentance and turning away from the sin. This lady is still with BPD after a year of complaining about my approach! That proves she is still sinning.
Then, she admits that it is all a spiritual battle! This contradicts everything else she has said, though she does not realise it. By accepts it is to do with ‘sin’, but, sin has only one remedy. Sin IS the ‘root cause’ of their fake ‘illness’; there is nothing more to be said about it, other than to repent and turn away instantly from what harms her. She chooses to ignore this. It is only a spiritual ‘battle for the mind’ because of her rejection of the answer! What, then, does she want ‘validated’? That she is ‘ill’? No – she is not ill.
“Please note that I AM FULLY AWARE that only BPDs who WANT to get help and are fully repentant of their sin will make any progress. But even those who are mired within their own selfishness and refuse to admit they have a problem very seldom WISH to hurt others or ENJOY it....nor do they engage in such behavior to be self-indulgent. This brings up my next observation:“
Comment: She admits to knowing what will bring relief from BPD. Then, she turns her back on this by saying that BPDs do not wish to hurt others, nor do they enjoy their BPD. She is thus confused. If someone says they love me, but they continue to say and do what hurts me, then they hurt me! Unless someone is truly insane, they can control what they say and do. I do not care how much pressure they put on themselves – that is a fact. So, when they hurt others, it is with that intention, because they refuse to stop doing it. And they do enjoy their BPD and ‘suffering’ – by this I mean they prefer their symptoms to not having them. This is a legitimate interpretation of enjoyment. As for BPD being self-indulgent – yes, it is. If a person constantly does things that are wrong, and refuses to stop (after all, they are not insane and can control themselves if they want to), then, what they do IS self-indulgent.
“In re-reading your long winded and meandering, sometimes CAUSTIC analysis of people who suffer from BPD, it occurred to me that you seem to be not at ALL objective. Why is that, Doctor? It certainly offers me new insight and clues into just why you possess this attitude. You say I stop short at healing. How do you POSSIBLY arrive at that conclusion, based upon my comment to your article? Why do you assume I am not seeking healing, even to this day, simply because I disagree with your harmful analysis of anyone who suffers from BPD? You project your assumptions onto me simply because I do not agree with you. That is not at all professional.”
Comment: Eh? This lady now attempts to analyse me, and very badly. What I call objective observation she calls ‘caustic’. It is only ‘caustic’ to those who reject scripture. So yes, I am objective. I have no reason to be otherwise.
Why, she asks, do I say she stops short of healing? I say this with firm conviction for one very good reason – she is ‘seeking’ something that God has already given as an answer. Thus, she has refused to enact the truth, has not genuinely repented, and refuses to stop her bad behaviour. In the matter of sin, the answer is immediate - stop NOW. This is God’s answer. If she is ‘seeking healing’ for sin, it means she does not identify what she is doing as sin, does not understand that sinning while seeking help is wrong, and that God will not bother to ‘heal’ what does not require it in the first place! In scripture we do not find sin labelled as something to be healed of. Rather, it is something to face and stop immediately. This is because sin offends Almighty God, and when we offend Him continually He will likely hand us over to our own devices. This lady must beware of this happening and MUST repent truly and STOP her bad behaviour. To stop is a proof of her love for Christ.
So, I assume this lady is not genuine, because she continues to sin. It is simple deduction from her own lips. That she opposes what I say makes no difference to me personally; what I say is based on facts and truth, not on my personalised ideas. That she does not accept what I say makes no difference to what I have said! Her views are irrelevant to the issue, as are mine. What matters is what God says and demands.
“I pray that your eyes are opened and your heart softened to the realities of just what emotional and physical trauma can do to a person. Yes indeed, the LORD heals us, He makes us whole. Repentance and taking personal responsibility are PARAMOUNT to making any kind of progress. But you seem to have MISSED the part of my comment that said that is exactly what I HAD done.”
Comment: My eyes ARE open. That is how I can speak with clarity. And it is why I can dispense with the mixed views of this lady. What does she mean by being “softened to the realities” of trauma? Doe she mean she wants me to react with a flood of tears? Or, what? I have compassion for those who suffer unwittingly, but I cannot have compassion for sin. And even when I have compassion I will not resort to emotionality, which distorts answers. It is true that some BPDs (but not all) ether into their bad behaviour AT A YOUNG AGE because of things done to them. It is also true, however, that many youngsters perceive things have been done to them. Young people are excellent at seeing in black and white, and love nothing more than to play-act. And when these reactions to life, in a young and still immature mind, are allowed to develop unchecked, they can easily become neuroses.
I do not deny that some BPDs are so because of awful things done to them. This is not part of the issue, however. Let me put it this way – if Mr A does something bad to me, does this give me the right to likewise do something bad to everyone else? No, it does not. The first matter was uninvited and unwanted. But, the reaction to it is controlled and deliberately inflicted. In an unbeliever, well, they can do anything evil and sinful and think it is acceptable. But, for a Christian, it is an absolute sin against our saved nature and God. It is self-indulgence. The lady claims to have repented and taken responsibility. But, she also says she is ‘seeking healing’ and is still in the grip of BPD! Both cannot exist at the same time. What does she mean by ‘repentant’? If she has truly repented then she must also have turned her back on BPD... but she has not done that, so what, really, was her ‘repentance’? Was it just floods of tears and emotion without substance? Or, was it genuine? In which case, the Lord would have removed her from her BPD fantasies. Yes, this is hard-line... but it is what God requires; tears do nothing to rid us of guilt. Goes does not leave us in our misery if we truly repent and turn away from our sin. So, I leave the reader to work out what has happened.
“Once God touched me and pulled me out of the pit, it had become a DAILY walk and CHOICE to walk in the SPIRIT. I STILL struggle. But I lay my sin at the foot of the Cross and have noticed how I can actually HEAR His quiet Voice... He has HELPED me to silence the tumult in my mind as He heals the broken FRAGMENTED parts of my personality that REMAIN TO THIS DAY... yet I trust JESUS to hold me by my right hand as we walk this path TOGETHER. I ALONE am responsible for my actions and for any subsequent LACK of action. You seem to think anyone who continues to struggle with their illness is just making excuses... this is not true... and to make blanket statements that they ENJOY their illness is irresponsible and dangerous.”
Comment: Now, this portion looks more like a genuine answer! But, it is spoiled by just one word: ‘illness’. By referring to her BPD as ‘illness’ she betrays the fact that she thinks it is not her fault. It is something she cannot help! By saying that, she completely contradicts her claim to have followed God daily, etc. I have heard this kind of admission many, many times, and I know that it comes from a heart rooted in worldly ways rather than on God. So, yes, it is an excuse. I would not say this to someone who had a genuine illness, but I can say it to a neurotic, because their ‘blame’ is on their ‘illness’ and not on themselves. This lady is secretly, and maybe unwittingly, doing this. I have already explained what I mean by ‘enjoying’ a mental disturbance.
“Try a little understanding, Doctor. You yourself sin simply by pointing the finger in judgment. You are not clairvoyant. You do not know my heart or the hearts of ANYONE who suffers from this VERY REAL illness. Your denial of the existence of BPD or mental illness is like saying a person in a dark room MUST be alone, simply because they cannot see or hear anything. With all due respect sir, Wake up.”
Comment: I DO understand, only too well. I do not sin by uttering judgment. This lady confuses judgmentalism and judgment. The first is sin, the second is commanded by God! I am not ‘pointing a finger’ – I am simply saying what I believe to be biblically true, in a cool and logical manner. No, I am not clairvoyant – but I DO know what is in the minds of neurotics. BPD is not a “very real illness”. It is sin to be cast aside. The difference in approach is mind-blowing, for by denying it a label of ‘illness’ and accepting that it is sin, there is the possibility of immediate relief. Now, if someone who complains so bitterly of ‘suffering’ does not avail herself of the answer, it must mean she is enjoying her sin! This is logic! Even if it harms her, if she continues in the face of suffering, then it is enjoyed and tolerated. The first thing is to discard the false label of ‘illness’. As for denying the existence of BPD and mental illness, this is the case for many fellow believers who think. It is my position after being in the environment of mental hospitals and seeing exactly what it is like.
“I maintain my low opinion of your article on BPD and I pray that you lay aside your personal bias, pride, and generalizations in favor of truly pointing people to Jesus.”
Comment: She is welcome to her low opinion. As I have said, it makes no difference to the argument or outcome. I have no personalised bias on the matter, except the bias to follow what the Lord says about sin. Pride? Why should my argument be based on pride? This assumption is misplaced. By telling the truth I AM pointing the way to Christ. I will not ‘put a spin’ on BPD just to make a ‘sufferer’ feel better about his or her sin.
“My comment was not an angry rant against you. If anything, it was my TESTIMONY. There is power there.”
Comment: Hm. Anyone else reading this lady’s comments will conclude she is indeed very angry! She has not come up with a shred of evidence to the contrary. As a testimony, well, I must say I see no power in it at all. All I see is pathos, that though she wants ‘healing’ she refuses to see BPD in all its sinful reality. To continue in sin is not ‘power’ but obstinacy.
“Please do not project that I am angry because I vehemently disagree with you. If anything, I am saddened. It's been a while since I first read your article of misinformation about BPD and I stand by my comment. I hope God is dealing with your attitudes on this topic... especially since you are spreading your harmful ideas on the internet where any poor soul seeking answers can stumble upon them. Thank you for emailing me back and may the LORD richly bless you.”
Comment: I do not care less if this lady disagrees with me! Disagreement is the very basis on which real science can work. It is not to be used for petty foibles. This lady can disagree as much as she likes – it makes no difference to what I have said. Hopefully, my ‘harmful ideas’ WILL spread through the internet, so people will see the truth and conform to God and not ‘mental illness’. Some out there have very real problems, but what they lack is genuine and forthright Christian support. The answers are still the same.
Finally, this lady should be true to form and NOT ‘thank’ me for writing to her, or say “the LORD richly bless” me, when she means the exact opposite. Her anger throughout betrays her true reaction to me. Again, it does not bother me at all, for I have witnessed this kind of double-intention many times. I prefer her to say “I loathe you and what you say”... because all through her emails that is what she is displaying! She must see BPD as her dire enemy.
© July 2013
Published on www.christiandoctrine.com
Bible Theology Ministries - PO Box 415, Swansea, SA5 8YH
Please 'Make a Donation' to support the work of Bible Theology Ministries