Friday, Apr 28th

Last update:09:55:09 PM GMT

You are here: Christian Doctrine Sex and Sexuality Sleeping Together - An Open Shame

Sleeping Together - An Open Shame

E-mail Print PDF

One euphemism is used today to speak coyly of a situation that is grave: ‘Sleeping together’! It is an absurd euphemism, because those who ‘sleep together’ do so openly and without shame! Why not just say they are together for sex?

It is a sad and outrageous fact that many Christians ‘sleep together’, and, like their unsaved counterparts, they even have children together, making things very awkward for the children involved when it comes to whose name they take.

How should we view this matter today, when the majority of couples are unmarried? The first thing to do is to call it what scripture calls it – fornication! It best describes what the older generation used to call ‘living in sin’… far more accurate.

Fornication

The word ‘fornication’ has a much wider meaning than some think. The first use of the word is 2 Chronicles 21:11, where we see that a ruler led citizens to indulge in fornication. Today, we are in a similar situation, when government, seduced by homosexual thought, legalise fornication and even give benefits to couples who ‘live together’, though most of them just as easily break-up.

The Chronicles word for fornication is zanah: it means to ‘play the harlot’; to be a whore; to commit adultery; to be unfaithful; to force into prostitution. The word primarily applies to a woman, though the root can also apply to men.

In Matthew 5:32, we find that if a man divorces his wife for no good reason, he causes her to commit adultery if she later remarries. That is, fornication is a general word that includes many different types of sexual impropriety. Thus, it is an error of interpretation to separate ‘fornication’ from, say, ‘adultery’. It is more correct to say that adultery is a sub-category of fornication.

In the Matthew text, ‘fornication’ is the basis for our modern word for ‘pornography’, porneia. Depending on context, it means any illicit sexual intercourse; adultery (fornication between people who take someone else’s spouse), fornication (usually refers to single people having sexual relations); homosexuality (including homosexual whoring in pagan temples, and lesbianism); incest; sex with a man or woman who has not been divorced scripturally. It can also refer to the worship of idols. The root of porneia comes closer to the modern day situation of ‘sleeping together’. Porneuo, means to prostitute your body to the lusts of another; to have illicit sexual intercourse (or, in the appropriate situation, to worship idols).

We can see, then, that when a couple ‘sleeps together’ they explicitly prove they are having illicit, sinful sex. Illicit, that is, in the eyes of scripture and God. If the couple are Christian, it means they are acting sinfully and publicly. The second root of porneia is porne. It means that a woman sells her body for sexual uses; a prostitute or harlot/whore who defiles her body for the sake of gain; a woman who has illicit sexual intercourse for either money or some other gain, such as lust. A third root is pornos, and it refers to men who hire their bodies for lust (to a man or a woman); a male prostitute; a man who indulges in fornication (with a married person - adultery -or a single person). And the fourth root, pernemi, means ‘to sell’. It is akin to another word meaning to sell ones’ self into slavery to sin, by bribery or by choice. Fornication, then, is a ‘full-on’ term with very heavy meaning.

The term ‘adultery’ used in the same Matthew text, moichao, is merely a sub-category of ‘fornication’. Its root, moichos, refers to the adulterer, but also to one who is faithless towards God/ungodly. In Acts 15:20 and 21:25, we find that Christians must “abstain from pollutions of idols and fornication…” It is pollution!

In Romans 1:29, fornication is listed as an act of unrighteousness, and coupled with wickedness, maliciousness, deceit, malignity… not a very nice list at all. And in 1 Corinthians 5:21, we see that the Corinthians were freely practising fornication (of ALL kinds), and it was common amongst them, to their shame. Paul describes it as a public shame that not even the Gentiles practised. Later in 6:13, Paul says “the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord…” In verse 18, he commands Christians to “Fle e fornication… he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body”. Indeed, all sins, though primarily against God, also act against the sinner, by allowing him or her to indulge in things that corrupt. The only answer is for each man to have his own wife, and each woman to have her own husband… therefore emphasising marriage. Living together is not an option.

Note that in one day God slew 23,000 people who committed fornication (1 Corinthians 10:8), such is His hatred for the sin. Paul speaks of this sin as ‘uncleanness” (2 Corinthians 12:21), which is a “work of the flesh” (Galatians 5:19). “Let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints” (Ephesians 5:3). We must ‘mortify’ ourselves against fornication – that is, put it to death (Colossians 3:5). This is the “will of God” as an act of sanctification (1 Thessalonians 4:3). Those who live together are lumped together with Sodom and Gomorrah (homosexual sins), so they are no better (Jude 1:7), and “are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire”. God gave Jezebel time to repent, but she refused… will YOU repent, or be judged by the Lord for your fornication, as in Revelation 9:21?

Revelation 17:4 speaks of the “filthiness of her fornication” Do you truly think that you can escape God’s wrath? There are no excuses: I have heard them all! “Marriage is only a bit of paper”, “But I love him/her”, “I can’t help it”. Explain it away as you will, but ‘sleeping together’ is just a formalised way to have illicit sex under the cover of modern sinfulness. It is condemned by God, no matter what the excuse. Both the man and woman live as institutionalised prostitutes – they ‘sleep together’ because sex is more convenient… but they refuse to commit to each other; this is because it is then easier to get rid of the other person, and even children. It is prostitution because the reason for ‘sleeping together’ is primarily to have sex, which is, to allow lust to have its way outside of marriage.

It is a public shame upon the couple, any children (who are illegitimate), and, and on the church they may attend. Above all, it dishonours God. And if the local church does not discipline the couple, it stands condemned by God. This discipline must demand they get married immediately. If they refuse, they must be cast out of fellowship and shunned, until and if they repent. Marriage is the ONLY context in which a man and a woman may have sexual relations. There are no other possible variations!

It should be understood that a woman who ‘sleeps’ with her partner is called a whore by God, a harlot. The man who does so is in no better a situation.

The fact that most of society lives this way is NOT a tacit commendation to Christians to ‘sleep together’! Christians must live pure lives. The Amish people, for all their flaws, know that even a kiss, or holding hands, can lead to sexual encounters. For this reason, even young couples understand the seriousness of being together, and NEVER allow themselves to be alone with each other without a chaperone. Old fashioned? Yes – but safer! They do not kiss, or even hold hands, but spend much time getting to know each other. Yes, they begin to yearn after each other, but that is when they get married. Simple, and scriptural!

If you are ‘sleeping together’ you MUST, as a matter of urgency, stop IMMEDIATELY. Determine to marry instead. Do not put yourself back into a position where you will fall to sexual sin. Marry quickly after repenting of your sin. If your partner refuses to do so, then leave him or her straight away, for it proves his or her rejection of God and His plan for humanity. If one or both of you refuse, then it can only prove that you are unsaved. Or, grossly deluded. In which case, you should be disciplined. Remember, if you remain in such a sinful relationship, you are placed together with the evil inhabitants of Sodom! God destroyed them totally. Do not think that your relationship will continue, or that it will not receive penalties from God. He cannot bless you as you are. You stand condemned by your sinful behaviour!

You might even say that you cannot ‘just stop’ your present form of relationship, because of this or that ‘problem’. That is tough! You MUST stop what you are doing! NOW! You have read this paper, so you cannot claim to be ignorant. Now, you are fully culpable and must prove your supposed Christian status. If you do not, then God will indeed visit you with woes, because, by your sin, you are inviting trouble from Almighty God.

© February 2012

Published on www.christiandoctrine.com

Bible Theology Ministries - PO Box 415, Swansea, SA5 8YH
Wales
United Kingdom

Please 'Make a Donation' to support the work of Bible Theology Ministries